Ain’t no river wide enough

Word on the water.

Bible on the barge…

A little bit of scripture on the sea..

 

 

 

A good woman helps you face your demons…

…a great woman loves you through it.

“When there’s no one left to leave you, even you don’t quite believe you”

She offered him her sweet glistening buns on a plate. “Get away from me, you sweet tasting temptress!” he said…

5 things I like about dieting

1. I feel like I’m being intelligent about what I eat instead of acting like a dog and eating whatever is in front of me
2. I like the fact clothes are looking nicer on me
3. I like the sense of working on something and getting progressive results
4. I like people’s comments on my shape
5. I like the feeling of actually reaching a goal that will change me for the better

5 things I hate about dieting

1. I miss wine
2. I miss doughnuts
3. I miss Sunday roast
4. I miss potatoes
5. I miss cheese

… but it’s not forever and it’s friggin’ worth it.

Men are from Mars…

Alone. In a hostile atmosphere. Surviving on just your wits…

No it’s not a flashback of my marriage –  it’s ‘Martian’, the new film Starring Matt Damon.

One finished cup of tea and two  failed ‘multi-tasking’ events…

I’ve just come home after taking my son to see ‘Martian’. This isn’t a film review but what an excellent film!

As I said, this isn’t a movie review but basically the story goes ‘During a manned mission to Mars, Astronaut Mark Watney (Matt Damon) is presumed dead after a fierce storm and left behind by his crew. But Watney has survived and finds himself stranded and alone on the hostile planet. With only meager supplies, he must draw upon his ingenuity, wit and spirit to subsist and find a way to signal to Earth that he is alive.’

There are quite a few questions this film raises, and a few really good messages of the consequences of decisions, ethics and politics vs morals.

But for me, what struck a chord was the main character, Mark Watney’s attitude. Facing the problems and hurdles head on. Even in the face of complete loss. (Ok he was going to die a horrible death, alone in space if he didn’t solve those problems, but some people would have given up or gone insane.)

He just logically worked each problem out and tried, failed and started over. No help could be called on. No procrastination. No laying down and hoping it would go away.

This week I’ve achieve 2 small but very significant personal victories. Both I had been procrastinating over for ages. But now I’ve done it. I felt such an sense relief when I had. I felt like I’d just finished a long period of study and done the exam!

I also went swimming on Monday. It was only for 30 mins but I got a sense of achievement even out of that. Why? Because I said the other day that I’d do it soon, but I actually did it. We can talk about living a better life; dieting, cutting out smoking, drinking less, doing more exercise, watching less TV but until we do those things we’re not changing anything. 

Stop watching people live their lives on TV and go and live your own life!

Matt Damon’s character stayed focussed and determined. When I want to do some things, even things I enjoy doing, that I know will benefit me and others, that I’ll be rewarded for; if there is the slightest hurdle or obstacle, I’ll be tempted to give up and go do something else. Put it off! Before I’d fool myself into thinking ” Yeah I’m a multi-tasker, I do 3 or 4 things at once. It’s just the way I am. Always buzzin’ with activity me!” In actual fact, I’d be doing  4 bits of things and not completing anything.

Tonight I’m tired and pushing myself to do this blog. To focus. But I’m struggling to stay focused. During tonight’s blog, I’ve had 3 people messaging me, I’m half watching ‘Family Guy’, and there are 2 unfinished cups of tea on the side!

So, my message from the ‘stars’ (HA! Gettit?! Stars?? … No..?) is  Stay focused, be determined, don’t fear failure, just push on through the pain barrier and get up off your butt and achieve your goals!

‘They should come with a warning’… what if they did?!

I’m  a pretty good judge of character.

Where some friends have been taken in with compliments and a big smile, I’ve warned that there’s trouble ahead and to steer clear. Soon after, my friends have said they should have listened…

Sometimes I wish people would literally come with a warning! Seriously! When you buy things now that could possibly harm someone, its illegal for the manufacturer not to put warnings on the side (so much so, that a bag of Peanuts must have the warning : CONTAINS NUTS) or someone will sue!

So why not people? I think if people have the reputation for being a certain way that is annoying or downright offensive to everyone else, we should make them wear it around their neck!

I’ve borrowed 4 warning signs from some household goods  and photoshopped them into what I like to call:-

‘S. T . A . R.’

STOP, TURN AND RUN!

(If you see any of these signs, just go before they ruin your day!!)

1)

Once I complimented a new guy at work on his photography, he’d brought some snaps in and I was being nice and said they were good (as a photographer myself, when another photographer likes my work, it’s flattering). From then on he considered himself my tutor! He’d look over my equipment during a shoot and tell me how it had been superseded by the latest release and how I should be using such and such. Other co workers had already experienced the same thing and were giving him a wide birth. Why didn’t anybody warn me? He should have been wearing this…

He’s annoying, knows it all, and won’t go away… She’s got that voice which just gets under your skin and makes your ears bleed.

2)

She’s incapable of performing any task that doesn’t extend from putting on makeup or putting it on her card.
She needs help blowing her nose
You wonder how she survived getting out of bed in the morning
She’ll spend more on a hand bag than you’d spend on a car.
She’s…

She’s living off ‘The bank of Mum and Dad’ and has never had to think for herself He just wants all your attention and if any one else has it he’ll throw all his toys out of the pram!

3)

He’s stopped buying expensive clothes because even he knows they’re gonna be soaked in spilt beer or splattered with curry. His front door key is on a detachable cord around his neck but he still loses it. His mobile phone screen is registered with ‘Autoglass’.

For her, walking without knocking something over is rare. There are no more drinking glasses in her home and when you’re out, you only eat in places where the furniture is bolted to the floor. She makes a bull in a china shop look like a prima ballerina.

They are…

He’s usually got an arm in a  sling or on crutches….She’ll break the unbreakable

4)

Lastly, there’s those people with absolutely no sense of personal space.

She’ll be talking to you and while she’s talking, she’s rubbing your arm. She’s whispering in your ear, she’s grabbing your hand when she’s changing the subject. When your out with the crowd strangers will automatically think you’re dating because she’s that close.

He’s already got a reputation with the ladies. A bad reputation. He’s never heard his nic-name ‘Creepy Colin’. He’s in his 50’s but he still thinks he can pull a teenager and finds any excuse to touch or flirt like he’s on a date.

They both need…

Just get off me! Keep your hands to yourself and step back at least one pace… Preferably 20 paces

Look out for the signs, YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED! 😉

Oh, and if anybody calls YOU a STAR… we know what they really mean! ha ha

He said Marge was in charge; but they both knew she liked him taking control…

So my diet is getting a little more hard core now…

To explain, my diet is to feel better in the clothes I wear. I know that if I put a little thought into my eating and drinking habits and had a little more exercise; then I could get a better shape to my body and enjoy they way I look a little more  – and not feel disappointed by a fat belly poking out of my shirts and jackets (got a thing for shirts and jackets)

Also, I feel like this is part of God’s plan for me to be disciplined more and take control of my life instead of coasting and drifting on the mediocre life of circumstance. Other aspects of my personal life and coming into focus and control too.

I realise I’m saying ‘control’ a lot and probably sound like a control freak, but I feel like I’ve been sleeping and drifting for years and have just been woken up.

Any hoo… back to the diet…

I’d eat a banana or two in the morning

Tea with milk to start the day then chamomile or red berry tea all day until I get home.

If I’m eating at work, it’s usually a Salad with chorizo or chicken

Or If I’m going home for lunch, a slice or 2 of brown bread toasted, with a couple of poached eggs. Worcester sauce helps give this snack a good touch of love.

Then at dinner time I’ll have salad with chicken (or quiche for a treat.)

Once a week I’d also treat myself to apple strudel…

When I’m out with the kids I’ll order a chicken ceaser salad (nice in weatherspoons – vile in McDonalds! Even with the balsamic vinegar) and If I’m in weatherspoons I’d treat myself to an ale.

(I know  – I can hear you screaming “ALE?!!”– but I used to drink around 4 bottles of wine a week and around 8 pints of Ale. Now I allow myself 1 beer when I’m out with the band and when I’m with the kids I’ll drink a latte.

But now, I’ve come home from the shops with Riveta crackerbread to try and get me off fatty brown bread. I was having honey with my tea but that’s just too sugary. I’ve cut out real butter too. Low fat marge is in charge.

No more beer, apart from 1 pint a week which I can stick to. No more apple strudel, I bought some frozen mixed fruit  (Yeah Yeah You’re screaming  “Why frozen fruit?!” I just don’t want to do the typical thing of buying ‘good intentional’ food and then watching it rot after a week.)

I’m thinking of getting more exercise now as although I can see I’ve thinned out a little more, the only way I’m gonna push my tummy down more is by toning up and burning it off.

Any hoo… My mate has been raving on about how great swimming has been for his back and coincidentally my back hurts a lot after I’ve been singing so I’ve been enquiring about local swimming sessions and I may start back on the ‘Insanity’ Training that I did a couple of years ago. My work does it twice a week but I’d need to top it up with doing it at home too.

My daughter put her hand all the way around my wrist the other day and she was really concerned that I was overdoing it. I laughed it off as I know I’m not (but it was soooo cute to see her care – I miss how close we were before my divorce 5 years ago.)

On a positive note, I accidentally bought a ‘slim fit’ version of a shirt I liked the look of, but before I planned to take it back I thought I’d brave that ‘stretched shirt look’ and see how bad it looked on me. To my pleasant surprise it fitted nicely! Not skin tight at all, and very well fitting 🙂

Any tips from my fellow bloggers? I know some of my new followers and some that I’m following are pretty well clued up on all this.

Any guys out there attempting the same?

Please leave a comment or tip. I just want to get rid of my belly (It was a proper barrel, but now it’s a large muffin top-  so getting better but not there yet) and I’d like to generally tone up. In the past I’ve worked on my arms and I get results quite quick on my biceps but I don’t want to loose any more weight off my face – I’ve noticed that’s thinned out too and I look better with a little meat on my chops ha ha!

Stay alive. Just one more day.

A song for the tormented

When I was nine something happened to me

Don’t wanna say so just listen closely

Had something sharp resting in my hand

Like a pair of scissors or a knife I’d taken

I had a thought deep in my head

as I stood there by my bed

Cut yourself, just end it now

No more worries it will all be over!

Seemed a good idea at the time

Logical thoughts to a child of nine

As I prepared my ending fate

A little voice made me pause and wait

‘What about the next day?’ it said

‘You’ll never know what happened if you’re dead!’

‘Wait and see when tomorrow comes’

‘Let’s see what another day brings’

‘Could be good

bringing happier things.’

Dark angel go back where you belong

Dark angel my story will go on

Get behind me. Your power ain’t that strong

Dark angel my God says you are wrong

I was twenty eight driving to work one day

I didn’t like it, it was such a dead end

Felt like my destiny

was passin by and I was just decaying

I had a thought deep in my head

As I drove, I saw a wall ahead

Put you foot down and end it now

All the pain and anguish shall be over

My vision blurred and the tears ran down

To everyone I was a happy clown

They never saw what was going on

I never let on there was something wrong

So I called my family

 to say ‘goodbye, it’s too much for me.’

They talked me down, talked me off that ledge

Saved a mess on a wall and a hedge.

Dark angel go back where you belong

Dark angel my prayer is in my song

Get behind me.

My living will go on.

Dark angel my hope is in the one.

Last night I was walking home

After one too many Desparados

Thought about those close to me

And all the hurt and pain that I caused

If I had died when I was young

I’d be James Dean or another famous Ikon

they died before they lived to make

all the mistakes and the pain in the wake of our lives.

Dark angel, go back where you belong

Dark angel, your mission failed fly home

Dark angel my God’s forgiven me

I’m alive and in Jesus name set free.

I’m not saying life is perfect now

I’m getting there some way, some how

If I can tell you three helpful things

I found life when I’m under his wings

I found life when I’m under his wings

I found life when I’m under his wings

Dark angel in Jesus name be gone

I’ve found hope and grace to carry on

My saviour is watching over me

I’m alive and in Jesus name set free.

Scouting for girls…

A fellow blogger reminded me of my time in the cub scouts recently.

I had really bad asthma as a kid, so I couldn’t get too involved with the running around and boisterous behaviour or I’d end up having an asthma attack and being abulanced off. It affected my schooling so much that when I was 6 I was transferred into a school for disabled children as they were the only ones with the medical facilities the know how to look after me (This was the late 70’s!)

I remember going to a Cubs camping trip where we got completely rained out so we got moved to a dusty church hall. It was great fun but it made me so Ill I was in hospital for 2 weeks after. When I got back my Archaler (leader) told me that they were going to present to me my ‘Link Badge’ (one of the badges you get when you’re old enough to transfer from Cubs to Scouts) I was gutted I missed it but I got my chance eventually. When I transferred from Cubs to scouts. My mum got me into this annual scout camp for disabled kids called ‘Agoonorie’

I wasn’t much of an achiever in scouts, my particular group: ‘21^st Bromley’ weren’t much into promoting the badges (woven badges usually sewn on to the arm of the Cubs jumper as marks of esteem). In fact the only badge I achieved was the ‘Entertainers Badge’ for drumming in the Cub Scout Jamboree!

The Entertainers badge
This along with my old scarf and the pendants in this blog are sewn onto my ‘Camp fire blanket’ I’ve lovingly kept ever since

I enjoyed it, but it was always a little scary for me as I was one of those kids on the fringe. I remember all the games we used to play including ‘Dodge Ball’ and I remember making a make shift stove out of an upside down tin of beans, a candle, a hammer and a tin opener!?

But the Scout Camp was different. I was one of the more able bodied ones, as a lot of those kids were in wheel chairs or crutches but I found such kindred spirits there. We all just got along and had fun.

I googled it recently and was thrilled to find a copy of the booklet we used to receive in the post ahead of camp, telling us who was going to be there.. (See my name circled, and – weirdly, the name above; I have a brother called Mark who had left home by then and I thought he was going, but it was another Mark – crazy huh?! 

There is so much tradition and pride in the Scout association. In Cubs I learnt about respect for others, self responsibility and discipline. In Scouts I learnt about self respect and helping others.

At scout camp I had my first introduction to the world of parody and satire. Really! We used to sit around a huge fire and sing songs and hear ghost stories while drinking hot chocolate (In itself awesome) but we were given song sheets with the words changed and we’d end up singing about the various characters at camp and the funny things they’d done during the week.

I recommend anyone with kids to send them to Cubs, Scouts, Brownies or Guides (maybe even to a good sport group!) I don’t know what those associations are like now, I left just as they were introducing mixed boys and girls troops. (Much to my excitement! Goodness knows the trouble I would have got into!) But having the experience of Scouts gave me a sense of responsibility to my community. We did do some good things for the area and the pride and self respect that came with wearing the right uniform in the right way (inspection included proper socks, including garters, woggle (plastic thing that held your scarf in place) Scarf correctly folded, shoes shined. I remember as a cub looking up at the scouts and thinking how smart they looked and I wanted to look that smart. When I eventually got my uniform I’d iron it perfectly and looked after it so well because that was the culture it created.

Thinking about it now, it’s probably why I like dressing smart now. I’m often complimented at work for my smart businesslike appearance and shiny shoes. That’s probable where it all started.

Can’t be a bad thing.

All the  pictures in this blog are courtesy of the AGOONOREE WEBSITE Go there, donate some money or your services!

The fellow blogger is Kevin